Last night when we were discussing triggers and truths, there was a lot of truth that got to through to me.  I very often find myself in a place of feeling inadequate where my home, marriage, finances, children and myself are concerned.  (the indequacies are listed in no particular order)

Yes, my mind is a twisted battlefield.

My mind runs amuck with all the things I should have done, I should be doing and what I need to do yet am not.  When my mind is running amuck,  feelings of inadequacy begin to overwhelm me.  I then hear the enemy’s lies say, “Why bother trying.  It’s never going to be good enough.  Don’t even start because you will just fail – again – like you have so many times before.”  All the good things that God has “lavished” us with seem to be out of my reach because I can only hear the enemy and his lies. 

I am here to tell you NO MORE sister!  And I do mean NO MORE! There is power in the name of the Lord and His Word and I don’t need to fight because the battle has already been won. 

Did you catch that sisters?  The battle is already won!  WooHoo!!!  Pump it up!

Can I get a big AMEN!

Whew!  What a relief to know I need not exert unneccessary energy because I can simply call out to Jesus.  I’m sure you’ve noticed I have no problem with speaking or anything that has to do with conversation so calling out to Him should be like second nature to me. 

I now have a plan.  It involves a safety lock to keep the trigger from being pulled.  I’m going to have several safety locks.  I plan to keep several verses on my phone and in my purse and in my bathroom and anyplace else I may need them.  His Word will guide me in the direction He needs me to go.  It will also keep me from temptation by reminding me what is real. 

We all want to keep it real, right?

If we don’t arm ourselves with God’s Word, then we are like loaded guns with a hair-trigger.  You wouldn’t keep guns in your house without a safety lock (I hope) so don’t let yourself run around like a loose cannon.

Now go find some verses and make yourself safe.  Come back and share what speaks to you.  I think we will all have verses that speak to us depending on where we are in life and what He has in store for us. 

My testimony for today is that fresh Square Donuts were brought into my place of work.  I’ve walked by them several times and they seriously don’t interest me at all.  Praise God for that today. 

Seriously, Square Donuts are not easy to dismiss.  It’s truly a work of God.

AND Praise God that I found my rings in a pocket as I was doing laundry last night. God is soooo Good!

Blessings & Hugs, Elizabeth

I really do intend to do good things.  I let an extra day off, Easter and a field trip derail me.  I don’t know why, but I find it hard to plug in when it’s not a work day. 

So anyway, I’ll be back at it. 

Today I will share with you that I’m so looking forward to getting together with my sisters tonight.  I am in need of positive woman time. 

I bet you think I’ve got some spectactular news or break thru to share.  Sorry.  I don’t. 

I have noticed that I’m being more conscious of what I put in my mouth.  I also now have an accountability partner.  She let me off the hook for Easter dinner.  Yay!

Yesterday, I fell a bit.  I started out strong, but ended weak.  The positive to this is that it brought me to my knees to ask for His strength, not mine.  (I haven’t shared this with my partner yet, so shhhhh. )

What did I allow to stear me off course?  A field trip with my 5th grade son and a ride home  with 3 boys and 2 other mama’s.  The mama’s were great and so was one of the boys.  The other two boys were not of this world.  They were completely in their own world.  They were almost like giggly girls.  It was crazy.  They had us all laughing so hard we were crying at some points.  We stopped and ate dinner and I knowingly ate things to sooth my soul for the moment, not the long run. 

Would anybody like me to save a seat on the short bus for them?

Well, I have today to do better.  I’m focusing more on calories than what I eat right now. 

Hope you all had a great Easter! I love it when we say, “He is Risen!” with the reply, “He is Risen Indeed!”  O What A Savior!

Blessings & Hugs, Elizabeth

Last night I did the day one study.  It was to read chapter 4 in the Made to Crave book.  I know we don’t all have the book, but after last week I decided it would benefit me to get it. 

I’m going to be honest, again, girls.  I can’t say that in this study I feel God is calling me to give up bread and sugar.  This is where Lysa felt  God was calling her to be more disciplined. She knew this was an area in her life she was holding back from her Heavenly Father.

However, I see several areas in my life that I feel are OK to be off limits.  Why should I think anything is my life is off limits to God?  Possibly it’s the brain damage I spoke of yesterday.  It is quite laughable to think any one of us presumes we have the right to possess something all our own when God owns it all – the good, the bad and the ugly.  It’s kind of like when my Adam told me awhile back that I wasn’t fair and he felt like I was trying to control his life. 

Ha ha ha Heeee hee hee hee Oooo oooo oooo MY GOODNESS!  Adorable, isn’t he?  His father and I informed him that was the way it was going to be for the next 10 years or so.  Poor guy. 

So can you relate to Adam?  I can. 

I  feel God is calling me to be self controlled and to be more disciplined in several areas of my life.  One of those areas is definitely my food intake.  Another is my TV time.  I would be ashamed to tell you how much time I devote to the boob tube.  It lets me check out of the mess that surrounds me in my house.  It’s an avoidance tool for me.  If I would turn to the Word and Him in prayer when I have these feelings, there is no doubt in my mind I would be the conqueror He says I already am.

Now, this next part was my favorite section in the chapter.  It was about accountability.  I most certainly need accountability.  We all do.  When I was successful with Weight Watchers 3 years ago, it was that accountability of having to weigh in front of someone.  It was also the accountability I felt to the group as a whole.  Surprisingly enough, I didn’t feel judged.  It was freeing to have to answer to someone for my actions, be they good or bad. 

We are all sisters in Christ and we were made to support one another.  I’ve always been drawn to the fact that I have brothers and sisters in Christ.  I think because I’m an only brat and desired siblings.  After I became a Christian, I didn’t have to desire them anymore. 

I’m going to challenge you, if you have not already, to pick a sister, or a brother, and ask them to be your accountability partner in this journey that the Lord is leading.  You may need more than one.  Lysa had one that had gone on the journey before her and one that was traveling the same road with her at the same time.  Don’t be afraid to enlist your sisters to pray for you and lift you up.  Put out the call and I am sure it will be answered.  I know I will answer!

Decide what your plan is and put out a plea.  Each of our plans will be different, but it doesn’t matter.  We’re all in it together. 

I loved the conversation yesterday!  Comments make my heart sing.

See you tomorrow!  I pray the Holy Spirit rain down on you today and bless you in ways you never thought possible. 

Blessings & Hugs, Elizabeth

Hopefully this will bring us together more than once a week. If you’re here and not doing the Made to Crave study, I bet you can still find some fun and learning with us.

I have a confession.  Last night, before leading the discussion for our Bible study, I ate chocolate out of frustration.  Home had irritated me.  If I’d been wise, I would have gone to Proverbs and asked for wisdom on how to handle the situation that was in front of me.  Instead I left home to go “study” before the study.  In doing so, I had skipped dinner.  I wasn’t really hungry anyway.  Even though my tummy was telling me I did not need to eat, my mind told me I had a Dove chocolate bar in my purse.  What does hungry have to do with available chocolate?  Not at all what the study was about the week before or this week either.

Thank goodness, as I’d shared Aaron said last night, God still loves me. 

So there you go.  I flew against the teachings and then preached what I didn’t practice. 

Because of my missteps, I felt inclined to look up Proverbs 9 today.  I’m reading them chapter by chapter and this was the next one.  I would like to share what God placed before me today.

Proverbs 9: 13-18 

¹³ Folly is an unruly woman;
   she is simple and knows nothing.
¹⁴ She sits at the door of her house,
   on a seat at the highest point of the city,
¹⁵ calling out to those who pass by,
   who go straight on their way, 
 ¹⁶ “Let all who are simple come to my house!”
To those who have no sense she says,
 ¹⁷ “Stolen water is sweet;
   food eaten in secret is delicious!”
¹⁸ But little do they know that the dead are there,
   that her guests are deep in the realm of the dead.

Food eaten in secret is delicious.  Let all who are simple come to her house. 

It was in secret and it was delicious, but I dare say a sense of deadness followed me home.  I did not try to resolve my issue.  I ignored it.  And ate some pita chips and humus.  She invited me in and I went willingly – almost gleefully.

Please don’t fire me but forgive me.

So my prayer today is to truly let the Holy Spirit intercede and remind me where it is I need to go for comfort and strength.  (That would not be the Dove bar, pita chips or hummus.)  I will be doing my lesson tonight to help it all sink into my “simple” mind.  I believe the Lord may call it brain damage.

Let’s share what we’re dealing with – shall we?

The good thing is that I have dinner planned and will be starting on it when I go home at lunch. 

We gotta start somewhere sister and this is the place for me.

Blessings & Hugs, Elizabeth

I have a feeling after my last post I need to redeem myself a bit.  I sure hope I didn’t offend.  We have a warped sense of humor at our house. 

At least my children know their mom and dad love each other. 

I just said that to make myself feel better.

So, over the weekend I went with my daughter to a youth conference for girls. The weekend before I was blessed to be the recipient of a ticket to the Hearts at Home conference.    I have noticed a reoccurring message from the conferences and different publications I’ve been reading.

I’m sure you’re on the edge of your seat wanting to know my observations. 

I keep running into the subject of authenticity.

Gasp.  I know. Earth shattering.

Really it is though.  We spend so much time trying to clean our homes as well as _______(you fill in the blanks), or exercise as much as ____________, or be crafty as __________, be as patient as _____________, study the Bible as much as___________ and it could go on forever. 

Just what do we think would happen if we acted like ourselves.  I know sometimes I feel like if people really knew what goes on inside my mind and heart, they would shun me.  It would be like a Beverly Lewis or Wanda Brunstetter story.  (Good authors if you like that sort of thing.)   Hmmmm. Would I ever be welcomed back into the fold?

Soooooo, what does the Bible say about being authentic?  Well, it never really uses this term, but it does tell us to step out in belief and boldness.  Peter did in Matthew 14:28-29.  He stepped out on the water when Jesus called.  He was being the person Jesus knew he could be.  It was only when Peter relied on himself that he started to sink. He was just fine when he was walking by faith, but the minute he started to walk by sight, he was sunk – literally.

This is where authenticity comes into our lives.  Are we more concerned with what surrounds us or what’s above?  Way more often than not I get stuck in the quagmire of my circumstances and become a slave to them. 

I’m looking forward to the Bible Study I’m starting tonight.  I know it will focus my energies on what’s most important and relieve me of burdens carried far too long. 

Well, I believe I’ve rambled long enough.  I hope you ramble with me in the comments. Sorry I’m not very exciting today.

Have a fab day sweet sisters!

Blessings & Hugs, Elizabeth

I think this is just too darn funny not to share.  A little embarrassing, but mostly funny.

Last night we had parent/teacher conferences.  If I were an “on top of it” mom, dinner would have been in the crock pot, but I’m not.  So we drove through McDonald’s.  My Hubby teaches, so he was in his classroom waiting for parents to come – but they didn’t.  Anyway, I say that to let you know no one was home.  I called him on the way to McD’s and found out he had fended for himself.  I told him I loved him and would see him in a bit.

The children must have been delirious from lack of nourishment because they started saying things like, “Moooom luuuuuvs Daaaad. Ooooooo.” They reversed it and whatever else you can do with it and were quite pleased with themselves.  They were all laughing pretty hard.

Then it happened.  DS#2 took it to the next level.  Fugettabout it!  He skipped the next 9 levels and went straight for level 10. 

DS#2, “Mom has a tatoo on her butt (yes he said it – no I don’t) that says I Love My Husband.  He’s Hot As a Chili Pepper!”

Yes he said it.  I promise I am not making this up.

Then, not to be outdone by his younger brother, DS#1 said, “That’s on one side and on the other side is the picture of a Chili Pepper, an equals sign and then a picture of dad! 

Hysterics broke out.

I’m probably lucky I didn’t have 4 accidents in the van to clean.  I will admit, I found it funny too.  Have I let the boys influence me more than I influence them?  If so, I fear what is to come.  Will I soon be making jokes about other people’s back sides?  Will I have the urge to make bodily noises happen on command? 

I think I need to be lifted up a bit in prayer.  Please remember me. 

I don’t want to get to the point of needing an intervention, so I beg of you, HELP!

Blessings & Hugs, Elizabeth

Last week my boys and I went to pick up new glasses.  We have come to love our eye care clinic.  We really like the people in there.  The people in there seem to be fond of us. 

We found out last week that our eye care clinic would be closing, this week.  The news was met with great disappointment.  I had a real heaviness on my heart for the people who would be losing their jobs.  The boys and I talked about it with them.  We told them we would pray for their situations.  We chatted a bit more and then were on our way. 

It has become a tradition, be it good or bad, to take dinner home when we go to the eye doctor.  We went all out and drove thru Long John Silvers.  After we had ordered, I looked in the back and saw my youngest curled up in his seat.  I asked him what was wrong, twice because he didn’t answer.  The second time, my middle one answered through sobs that had suddenly burst forth, “He’s crying because we’ll NEVER see them again!”  Then the oldest one spouted off something about corporate jerks not knowing what they are doing. (It was a corporate decision to close the office.)  His hurt is displayed by anger. 

That was the beginning of the end.  They were a mess.  All three of them.  It was crazy.  I was saddened too, but I didn’t feel the deep connection my boys had.  I had no idea that through our many conversations and trips to the eye dr. we had become so close.  It was like we were losing family members.

There was tenderness to the sobs and tears.  To think that my boys had those kinds of feelings for people who started out as mere strangers is sweet.   The real kicker for me was when Laura Story’s song Blessings came on the radio.  I saw my youngest in the rear view mirror quietly mouthing the words with his head bowed and his hands clasped.  He was praying for them through song.  Even though his little heart felt broken, he was praying for them through song.  Were that our way of life everyday – the praying for others from a state of brokeness and humbleness – not the sobbing.

So, there you have it. Have a great day friends!

Blessings & Hugs, Elizabeth

Why on earth might I be talking about the Batman Signal? 

Well, it occurred to me last night that this is what the phone is like to my children if I’m engaging in conversation.  It’s as if I turn on a beacon telling my kiddos now would be an inappropriate time to come to me with things like, “I took a shower first last night!  Why do I have to again tonight?” and “He won’t quit looking at me!” I’m going to assume it’s pretty much the same for you and yours.  It’ seems to be a universal signal and problem.

Here is what happens in my house and you can let me know if it works the same way at yours.  If I am on the phone, be it someone called me or I called them, my children seek me out with their urgent matters. 

Does this happen to you?

I could have been oblivious to them for the last two hours, but the minute I pick up the phone, there are needs of the utmost importance to be met within the next 30 seconds or else the world may end.  Truly. That’s what they tell me anyway. 

Why? Why? Why I ask in angst?

Is it penance for when we were children?

Is is because we asked for patience with our children? If so, I revoke the request.

Or is there something wired in our children, like a honing device, that is activated anytime we put the phone to our ear?

I believe the last question to be the truth in all this.

Do share views and theories on this subject.  If we can solve it, there may be a Nobel Peace Prize in it for us.

Blessings & Hugs, Elizabeth

 

This past Friday women from our church went on our yearly trip to Ladies Unity Night in Terre Haute.  It’s an important tradition. Then we went to Outback Steakhouse – it’s an equally important tradition.

We heard Sheila Walsh.  I know that she has been a speaker for quite sometime. I’m familiar enough with her that I knew she would be good.  She was better than that.  Her message was her story.  It was the story of a woman who seemed to have it all together for Jesus on the outside, but was falling apart on the inside.  It was a story that was all hers, yet all ours too.  How many of us walk around acting as if we are OK, better than OK, but are mortally wounded on the inside?  Putting up a facade may fool a lot of people but it doesn’t fool our Heavenly Father one bit. 

She shared her story with humor so we could all relate.  I love humor.  It’s much better to laugh than cry – and better for you too!  I’m sure there were many women that related to what she was saying.  I know I did. 

I could really feel God speaking to me Friday.  The week had been crazy for me. (As if that is an unusual feeling. Ha!)  My hubby left Wednesday to go to training and would return just in time for me to go out with the girls Friday.  This happens twice a year.  I normally don’t sweat it.  I really kind of look at it as a break.  I love my hubby with all my heart, but it’s nice to just go with the flow once in a while and not have to worry about anyone else.  You know what I mean?  You just pack the kids up and do your thing.  It seemed as if this was going to be like the previous times he went to training.  Then AWANA  happened.  AWANA is our normal Wednesday night routine.  This night, routine would be broken.  A very sweet woman, whom I really do like, brought 4 puppies to show and the kids went wild. She shared that the puppies were free to anyone that may want them. My two older boys were in this group and I knew it was a recipe for disaster.  The kids and I want a dog and my hubby doesn’t.  This is a point he is not willing to bend on the boys know it.  There were tears welling up in all our eyes. I know my boys hearts desire a dog so badly and while your husband is gone is not the time to bring a dog home.  We got through AWANA, but then when we got home, they let it all hang out.  To say it was ugly is an understatement.  The oldest has a very passionate personality and decided he wished his dad were in training on Mars – it would be more difficult for him to get back, thus we could get a dog.  There were tears, gnashing of teeth, tantrums and I believe I heard some cries of anguish.  Finally, after an hour of emotional upheaval and discussing why life wasn’t fair, there was sleep. 

The next morning I overslept.  Usually my hubby gets the boys up and gets their breakfast, but as previously stated, he was not there to do so.  Even if I’d gotten up on time, it would have been a rushed morning.  I got the little darlins up and would you believe that their feelings were as fresh first thing in the morning as they had been the night before?  Well, they were.  I had two that decided they were going to boycott breakfast if they couldn’t have a dog.  One of them caved and fixed PopTarts.  The other, I will assume, was extremely hungry come lunch time.  Things seemed to have calmed down when I picked them up Thursday night.  Thank Goodness! 

Thursday night was busy too.  I took my middle son to get his eyes checked.  There seems to be an epidemic in the 3rd grade of kids needing glasses.  Sure enough, he needed a slight correction for distance.  Later that evening he said, “Aren’t you glad you took me to get my eye checked?” I said yes.  I asked why he was so excited about glasses and this was his reply.  “Well, I kind of felt lonely because I’m the only one in the family without glasses.  Glasses are kind of like a family tradition.” 

Really?  Our claim to fame for family traditions is going to be that we all have glasses?  Possibly I should rethink our holidays and birthdays and what we do for other special occasions.  On second thought, we do have Pizza Fridays.  Surely that will redeem our family traditions. Yes?  No?  I’ll take it under advisement.

Then we get to Friday – The Pilgrimage – Ladies Unity Night.  And Outback!  I ran in and out with my boys to give them to the hubby and told him I was happy he was back.  I ran to church and climbed in a van with my church sisters and we were off.  On the way there I shared my sad story about the boys and dog.  Once we got there I was telling one of my friends about how my mom thinks I say yes to too many things and I knew what she meant because I have a “yes” coming up that I forgot about.  When I agreed, it was 2 months out and I thought, “What could possibly come up between now and then?” Ha!  We were all having girl talk.

Then came Sheila.  As I said before, God spoke to me.  I know I can be one who hides behind a smile.  Who can’t?  And sometimes you do just have to suck it up.  But then God spoke to me more directly – Sheila getting a puppy as a girl was an important part of her story.  Aw, c’mon!  I feel as if it’s out of my hands Lord.  And then she touched on how we sometimes say yes to things we then wish we’d said no to.  You’re killing me God.  She also talked about different things we hide behind.  She said for some it may be drugs, for some it’s keeping up appearances and for some food.  I immediately thought about what I was going to have at Outback and how it was going to make me feel.  Yum!  Then I thought, dang it!  God is really hounding me tonight.  I took it under advisement and had a petite filet.  I have said before, in jest, that food is my Golden Calf.  Well, maybe I should take it more seriously. 

It really was a great night and I could certainly feel the Spirit in that place.  The journey was rocky, but so worth it.  Thank you God for respite with friends, sweet sisters in Christ.

See you soon friends!

Blessings & Hugs, Elizabeth

 

You know, even though I came back last week, I didn’t want to overwhelm you with posting consistently.  I like to keep you on your toes you know.  I want to keep you guessing so there will always be some mystery and intrigue to our relationship.  Predictable is boring.

Right?

Not really.  I just said that so it would make me feel better.

I have been contemplating the complexity of life lately.  I have many questions, but no answers.  Maybe you can help me.

Why is there no end to the laundry – ever?

Why do my boys think the funniest things that happen in life are all related to bodily functions?

Why does my girl want to use all my make up and all my money?

Why am I drawn to Lifetime and Halmark movies?

Why does DS#2 wait with excited expectation to see if I will cry when watching one of these movies?

Why do Halmark commercials make me cry?

Why do my knees still buckle when my hubby looks at me a certain way?

Why am I 40 and feel like I still need my mommy – especially if I’m sick?

Will my kids still want me when they’re 40?

Will I want them to want me?

And last but certainly not least – Why can’t I eat what I want when I want and still lose weight?

Anyone?  Anyone? 

Well, let me know when you have the answers. 

I’d really like to know.

Really.

Blessings & Hugs, Elizabeth