Posted by: simplyelizabeth | April 8, 2008

Depends Undergarments, The Cult of Creative Memories and Outback

Oh my!  We went to Ladies Unity night last Friday, and I think I’m still recovering.  I laughed so hard.  Anita Renfroe had me in stitches.  The woman who announced her warned that if we were not wearing protectective undergarments that we may end up a little embarrassed.  I wish I would have known before.  She was talking about life in general, like you do with your girlfriends, and then she told this story about how she and her hubby once had a babysitter named Faith.  It turns out their babysitter is now Faith Hill.  That wasn’t funny, just cool.  However, she then followed it up with a song and video that was a parody of “Just Breathe”.  Hers was called “Don’t Breathe” and was in the context of waking up next to your hubby’s morning breath.  There was green fog coming from her hubby’s mouth in the video and the whole thing just struck my funny bone to the core.  I was laughing almost uncontrollably.  Then I felt that tingle you don’t want to feel at the top of a large auditorium seated in the middle of a row.  Uggh!  I was then forced to concentrate on how to keep from having an embarrassing accident.  (It’s harder to do after you’ve had four children spring forth from your loins.)  Thank goodness I’ve always had large thigh muscles and glutes too!  Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.  You Squeeze Woman! Squeeze!  I’m happy to report the momment passed.  Anita also enlightened us to a new cult that diguises itself as “family oriented”.  It’s Creative Memories.  I will admit to having dabbled in this realm.  I have four, yes four, Rubbermaid totes to attest to it.  I just cracked me up when she was talking about it.  Really, what are the chances that I am going to scrapbook mine and my children’s lives.  Sure, I get together with some of the girls once in awhile and make a few pages, but then they sit.  I admire all of you over-achievers that are able to scrap every mommenteous event in your life, but I’m still struggling with trying to catch up the laundry.  And though I’ve been to classes and told how the scrapbooks will be appreciated in generations to come, I’ve come to the conclusion that they will not complete my life, my children’s lives or keep the kids out of therapy.  All the happy pictures and cute sayings (sayings that were probably made up for the sake of the scrapbook) will just confuse them when they look back on their childhood.  As the Pioneer Woman would say, “I’m just keeping it real!”

Ah!  Now on to Outback.  Can I just say yumilicious! (sound it out-it does work as a word)  I called ahead several days to see if we could arrange seating for around twenty women.  I spoke with a dear man named Randy.  He hooked us up.  I tell you what, I think I was as excited to go to Outback as I was to see Anita Renfroe.  I love my food!  (If you doubt this check out the previous post on Outback.)  There four vehicles that caravaned and the tables were ready and waiting for us.  We split a Bloomin’ Onion and Cheese Fries.  I know our purpose in our lives is to serve the Lord unselfishly.  I know this with every fiber of my being that was knit in my mother’s womb.  I also know I’ve been thrust into a fallen world and hope that there is an unending buffet in Heaven with Cheese Fries, Spicey Ranch Dressing and Alice Springs Chicken.  OK, so there are several more things I would like to see on the buffet because we are talking about eternity and I may get bored after several thousand years of the same thing.  Yeah, right!  Is it really possible to get tired of those Cheese Fries?  OK.  I may have just crossed a line.  I’m wanting to God to serve me – food, lots and lots of food.  I’v had a bit of an attitude lately, and this line of conversation may me be my wake up call to go to the alter and lay it all down.  Pray for me girls.  My flesh is weak. 

Blessings & Hugs, Elizabeth

BTW – We have discovered that Angie is a fine driver – as long as it is not after her bedtime.  Thank you Angie for stopping at Starbucks before and thank you Janet for thinking of it. On second thought, if I hadn’t have had Starbucks before, I may not have been in crisis during Anita’s performance.  So yeah!  Thanks a lot!

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Responses

  1. Thanks for giving me a second chance @ driving! I knew I could do it! Thought everything was fun and yummy too! My favorite part of the performance was her letter to her younger self (especially the little dab or moisurizer on the neck). I think you should do that Elizabeth, maybe we all shoud, but I know yours would be funny! And I’m with ya – cheese fries are divine!
    thanks for making me laugh!

  2. What a great night for all. Angie DID do a great job in driving. As the “bit” older lady, if you notice I went to the bathroom just before Anita came on. Just for that very reason!!

  3. […] After that, we went to Outback. (Surprise!  I knew you wouldn’t be. If you are, check here, here and […]


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