Posted by: simplyelizabeth | July 14, 2008

For Girl’s Eyes Only! (I am serious – No Boys Allowed!)

I truly am serious about this being a strictly girls conversation.  Any onlooking boys should just move on to another blog or site and come back in a day or so.  We (said girls) do not want you to participate in this discussion and trust me when I say, you do not want to either.  You have now been forewarned and if you continue, I cannot be responsible for what you will read. 

Now girls, let’s get on with the conversation.  I have a very serious topic to discuss that effects us all.  After church yesterday, I was speaking with a couple of women who are more mature than myself.  They were discussing their sister.  She has been having some memory trouble as of late.  We were discussing it all in a lighthearted manner.  When people take a turn in life like this, you just have to make the best of it and this is definitely what her sisters do.  They help take care of her and I know it can sometimes be taxing.  It can sometimes be taxing to take care of people that one would deem perfectly normal.  (If you don’t believe me, read some of my “conversation” posts) Let’s get on with the story. Their sister has lost quite a bit of weight and it makes it very hard to find certain articles of clothing – certain undergarments that might fit one properly.  I am talking about undergarments that women wear and are above the waist.  I’m sure you get my drift now.  This spawned a conversation about the body parts that go into those undergarments.  You know, at one point in my life I had more than just a perky personality.  I’m sure you did too, if you are a woman of a certain age.  If you’re still perky, just quit reading this now and move on because I don’t want to know about you.  Also, for your own safety, I don’t want to be responsible for you spiralling into some sort of deep depression.  On the other hand, you may find the following educational.  No one forewarned me about how quickly the perk peters out – did anyone tell you?   It’s almost like one day you are and the next you’re not.  I’m not even 40 and I find myself looking in the mirror in the morning to make sure everyone is “even steven”.  I know you all have seen a woman that may be a bit chilly and isn’t “evened up”.  You can’t take your eyes off the problem.  You just want to say, “Honey, could you raise the left one up just a bit?  You’re a little cockeyed.”  It’s like having a conversation with someone who’s cross-eyed or has something in their teeth.  There is no way to concentrate on the subject matter being discussed.  There is just this glaring inconsistency staring you in the face.  And why is it that the older you get, the more they grow, but in the wrong way.  Gravity is not your friend as you age.  I’m thankful that I’ll never fall off the planet and all, but it’s just murder on a woman’s figure.  These are my thoughts for the day – well they were my thoughts last night and I felt obligated to share.  We women must unite in our secret woes!  I guess there’s another side to the story as well.  As my friends and I were talking about what happens to an aging body, Ifound that sometimes they all but disappear.  I was told that some women could, as she said, “put the undergarment on backwards and no one would be able to tell the difference.”  Wow!  I don’t see that in my future, but I will tell you where I think I’m headed.  Once while visiting my grandma, about 10 years ago, I walked into her bedroom to get my makeup.  She had a one bedroom apartment, so I left my overnight bag in her bedroom.  When I walked in, she was not expecting me.  She was sitting on her bed, fastening her undergarment.  I quickly exited the room and apologized.  Later that day, I spoke with my aunt and told her of the incident.  It scared me to see what I saw and still does to this day.  “The girls” were laying on her lap and all I could think of was, “Oh my!  Is this where I’m going in life or rather where they’re going?”  The answer to this question is a resounding yes.  Grant you, my grandma was in her late eighties, but still it was a sight that will be forever etched in my mind.  I’m sure she would have preferred I not see her in her altogether either, but I did.  Maybe it was God’s way to gently break the news to me.  Well, I think I’ve shared more than enough today.  I hope I didn’t scare you and you’ll come back.  Feel free to share your personal stories be they triumphs or tragedies!

Blessings & Hugs, Elizabeth



  1. Aaaaaaaaaagh! I’m officially scared. I was scared to see the changes after just one child, and I am not looking forward to how they may look after a couple more. Nor do I ever want to see an 80-year-old woman shirtless. Ev. Er.

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