Posted by: simplyelizabeth | August 28, 2008

Blah, blah, blah And a Terrifying Toenail Tail

My mind is a jumble today of kid stuff, house stuff, future stuff, work stuff and all of it revolves around the rest of my life-my family’s life.  Yeah.  I know that’s some pretty heavy stuff, but we all have these days.  If my DH is reading this, he’ll be hoping this all passes away while I’m at work.  All I have to do is say, “Honey, I’ve been thinking . . . . . ” -you fill in the blank-and he gets this worried look on his face.  I don’t know why.  I have a good, sound mind that thinks very well.  If I’m wanting to share, it must be something good for me for us. Right?  BTW-if you think my deep, introspective thoughts are boring, skip to the toenail part and you will be entertained-I hope.  If not, don’t tell me.  Just be polite and pretend I’m clever and witty.

So today is a deep thought day. I’ve been doing my Sunday School lessons in the morning for the last three weeks.  I normally do my devotional in the morning, but the SS stuff (there’s that word again) is daily and doesn’t take that much longer.  I’ve been getting a lot out our lessons on hungering and listening and yes, even being submissive (check it out-it’s not a four letter word) to God.  It’s really made me think about what my family and I focus on daily.  We go to church each week, talk about God daily, talk about decisions we make need to be directed by God and encourage our kiddos to do the same, but I am ready to live authentically and purposely for our Heavenly Father.  While my DH is the head of our household (I’m not a very good driver) I think I’m like a propeller that moves us ever forward.  (Wow!  This is getting deep!) I believe this all started a couple of months ago.  I’ve been praying about specific direction God wants me to have in my life and I keep hearing from Him to put my house in order.  Yes, physically it’s a big mess bit of disarray, but we jump from pillar to post with this activity, that activity and this function and that function.  I believe he is clearly telling me to organize (now that’s two four letter words put together-seriously) and set routines for the kiddos.  So that’s what I’m doing.  I’m taking a sabbatical from our women’s ministry this year and I’ve dropped off of a church committee that I was flattered to be asked to be on, but it’s not what He has for me.  Just doing that lifted me up and made me feel lighter.  I think the proof of all this is that we all have clean underwear AND socks-at the same time.  Now, whoever doesn’t think that’s a miracle and blessing must already have their house in order.  What are you being called too? 

The toenail?  Well, it certainly wasn’t my toenail.  It was a story that was relayed to me yesterday and I found it amusing so I thought I’d relay it to you.  You know, it’s always more fun to revel in someone else’s agony than your own.  It really is a harrowing tail of sacrifice and bravery. (Not really, but this will make the person it’s about feel better.)  I will change names to protect those involved. I’m thoughtful that way.  (Remember Imogene?)  Flo has been having a problem with her toe (See how cute it is when it rhymes?) for about a year now.  It’s fungus.  (groans, shrieks and guttural sounds)  Yes fungus.  It just sounds, well I’ll refrain from further comment for Flo’s sake.  Flo was getting ready to go to a party Monday night and disaster struck with her toe.  The toe’s nail had been barely hanging on.  It was in peril really.  Flo had been very careful about what she was doing so her nail could remain where it belonged.  Not 10 minutes before she was ready to walk out, it happened.  She told her daughter, Zoe (pronounced Zo -long O- so we can keep the rhyme thing working here) to come to her so she could comb her hair.  Zoe accidentally stepped on Flo’s toe.  AAARRRRGGGHHH!  Oh the humanity!  (I think that’s what Flo said.)  And there it was.  The toenail was hanging by. . . .  well not much.  After picking herself up off the floor, (she’d been writhing in pain) she carefully bandaged it and went on to the party like the brave little soldier she is.  She also knew there was no way she could remove the nail and wanted to wait for her big strappin’ husband Joe to come home and rescue her.  (Did you see the other rhyme?  Joe?  Isn’t this fun?)  So, Flo comes home from the party and tells Joe of the accident.  She seeks his council and he’s willing to do the deed, but Flo has had a change of heart.  Joe’s reply, “I can’t believe you birthed a baby.”  Well, Joe, we all have our Achilles heal and for Flo, it’s her toe.  Flo decided an MD needed to handle the situation and that she would tend to it the next day.  Flo’s comment to me about the situation was, “Just think about your little toenail you’ve been growing all your life and you love.  You don’t want it just ripped off!”  (The quotes are true folks.)  The next day, Flo was off to see the doctor.  Flo went into the doctors office and told the whole ugly story.  She then carefully unwrapped her toe and showed the whole ugly story.  She proceeded to tell the doctor that this was the worst accident that had ever happened to her.  I mean she’s never had stitches or broken bones or anything of the likes.  She’s just birthed a baby.  Flo insisted that she have pain killer injected into her toe so the removal of the nail would not be so painful.  Dr. Bo (teehee) tried to tell her the injection would hurt worse than the removal.  Flo would not listen.  She insisted on the pain relief injection.  She laid down on the table, stuck out her toe and covered her eyes.  The needle pricked her toe and was not that bad.  Then the medicine began to enter her toe.  Flo said, “I really thought my toe was going to blow up!”  Dr. Bo said, “It’s just 1cc.”  (And now we know why dr’s charge what they do.  They have to take therapy.)  Flo’s eyes remained covered and then she felt a tug and Ouch!  She continued to lay there sure the worst was yet to come.  Apparently the worst was over.  The nurse and dr. stood quietly to see just how long it would take Flo to notice the whole ordeal was done.  It took her several minutes.  Poor Flo.  The good news is, she survived. 

As a side note, Flo got her toe phobia honestly from her mom.  Her mom does not want to hear Flo’s toe story because is makes her tummy shake and rumble.  Flo let her mom know that she needed support because, remember, this is the worst accident that’s ever happened to her.  I’m happy to report that because Flo comes from a good Christian family, her mother is accepting and supporting her in her new lifestyle with out a toenail. 

Blessings & Hugs, Elizabeth



  1. Oh poor Flo!!! I feel her pain (although I was laughing so hard while reading, I almost feel off my chair, and my daughter thinks I’m crazy yet again)! I’m just glad to hear she survived!!

  2. I love the rhyming! Very clever of you! I’m sure Flo will enjoy her story relayed in such a humorous way. Her huge bandage that is twice the size of her toe is enough to make anyone smile. It’s pretty hot.

    I hope your day gets better. We are all allowed to have those contemplative days and I’m glad that God is teaching you so much right now!

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