Posted by: simplyelizabeth | February 24, 2009

Mama Mia!

Remember when I told you about my mom driving with one eye squinted last week?  Well, it turns out that she has a problem with a nerve behind her eye.  The eye dr. told her it could last up to two months.  He also told her it would get worse before it started to get better.  Uggghhh!

Now that he’s told her there’s a problem, she’s wearing an eye patch.  She said she was getting a headache seeing double out of her left eye.  She also said it made her about half sick to her stomach.  Poor thing!  I wouldn’t want to be in that predicament. 

 Now that she’s wearing a patch to keep her from getting a headache and feeling sick, she decided she shouldn’t drive.  Now that she doesn’t have to drive down the main drag of our town with one eye squinted, she doesn’t want to for safety’s sake.  She thinks she may feel better about it in a few days, but for now, she’s not driving.

So lets fast forward to yesterday.  I stopped by her house over my lunch yesterday and she told me she wanted me to help her with something while I was there.  I said, “OK.” 

Mama, ” I need you to help me change my eye patch.  It says you’re supposed to relax and close both eyes to place it.  If I have my eyes closed, I can’t see where I need to put it.”

Good point.

Me, “OK, but I’m not taking it off.  It looks like that would hurt.”

Mama, “That’s fine.  I’ll do it.  Can you start it for me though because I can’t with these nails.”  (she has acrylic nails)

I used my real nail to try and get a corner up so she could pull it off.  She winced.  I hadn’t gotten the job done though.  I tried again and even though the package said the adhesive is “no ouch”, it lied.  So here she is, sitting on her couch with her head leaned back and I’m next to her on the couch, on my knees, leaning over her, trying to get the sticky eye patch to come off.  I finally got ahold of it to start it for her and it looked like I was going to pull that side of her face off.  It was not a pleasant site.  Nor did I like thinking I was hurting her.

I said, “Aaarrrggghhh!  I can’t watch! It looks like your face is going to come off with it.”

She started laughing and saying ow at the same time.

I started laughing.

It struck us as funny.  We have a twisted sense of humor in our family.  I think I’ve passed it on to DD.  I’m proud.

Now the patch is off and it’s my turn to put a new one on.  We’re still laughing at the possibility of her face being pulled off by the eye patch and she says, “Now darnit Elizabeth!  Stop that!  It says I’m supposed to be relaxed.”

Well, it made me laugh more.  Then we started laughing over cousin d’s comment last Thursday.  (Cousin d, you got a “darnit” out of  it too)

So I think we’re calmed down.  I go back to the couch, get on my knees next to her so I can see what I’m doing and she says, “Make sure you put it where it was before or I’ll have a white spot where there’s no make up.” 

Me, “Yep.  That eye looks like a reverse raccoon.”

We were giggling again.

Let me share that entire reason she wanted the darn thing changed to begin with was because it was putting permanent wrinkles on her face. 

No, my mother is not prideful or vain – ever. 

Aside – mama had a friend ask her to go to basket bingo and she wasn’t sure she could go be seen in public with “the patch”.  I informed her that if this did indeed last for two months, I didn’t think she could hole up in her house that long.  She agreed, went and won the 50/50 drawing.  Hahahaha!  I love it when I’m right.  I think since I convinced her to go that I should get 50% of the 50/50.  I don’t think she thinks that.

The new eye patch got on and I made it as wrinkle free as possible.  When I was placing it over her eye I thought about “I have to stay in the lines”  – her make-up lines. 

I like when we have goofy times like that. 

I just thought – is this going to be my lunch routine for the next two months? 

Well, if it is, she’s worth it. 

Blessings & Hugs, Elizabeth



  1. Aw, that is actually pretty sweet, E. Strangely humorous to you, but sweet. I like how you helped your mama, even when it seemed painful. You are a good daughter. 🙂

  2. Oh boy…. here I sit laughing again! The vision in my head could only have been made better if Aunt J was standing up and you were climbed up on the old three step ladder that Grandma kept in her house….. Seriously, you two crack me up!

    By the way, Kenz uses that step ladder as her regular “seat” at the kitchen table because it makes her sit higher. It drives Mom batty but I figure it isn’t worth the fight so I let her sit on each night.


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