Posted by: simplyelizabeth | April 28, 2009

Consistently Inconsistent

I don’t know if any of you will be around to read this, but here I am. 🙂  I am going to quit saying what I plan to do, like post several times a week,  and it can just be a big surprise to us all! 

I love surprises!

Don’t you?

I have been in a funk.  I’m pretty sure I’m still in a funk, but I think writing will be theraputic for me and cheaper than the therapist I often speak of.

Warning – if you know me personally, this post will be a bore to you for I will be rehashing the last month or so of my life. 

A random aside before I begin my “rehashing”.  I do not at all like it when people – sales people – call and pretend they know who they’re asking for.  One just called.

I shouldn’t end sentences in a preposition – sorry.

Anyway – I just don’t like it.

So several weeks ago my DD dropped on our family that she wants to move in with her dad.  I’ve honestly feared this from the day I left my ex. 

Recently in Bible study I was doing, it was stated that when you have fears, it’s like waving a red flag at the enemy and saying, “Look here!  This is my weakness you can pray upon!  Come and get me!”  I think I waived an army of red flags.

I have gone through a myriad of emotions – sadness, anger, dispair, denial, pity and pride.  My DD has decided to go live with her dad – 2 1/2 hrs. away – and start high school there in the fall.  Of course, she wants to finish the school year here so we can all live tortured lives till the fall and act like everything is OK when it is clearly not. 

There are days when I want to hold her and tell her she can’t go because it will break our hearts and we love her too much to make this mistake.  I’m not being self centered – this is a huge mistake.  There are other days when I would like to say, “Let me help you pack and lets get you there right away!” so I can get normalcy back to my household, back to me. 

OK, scratch the normalcy thing – there’s no such thing.  It’s a fairy tale. 

No, I’m not being negative.  Normal is in the eye of the beholder and our eyes all see things in a different light.

My example to you is this last Sunday afternoon.  The hubby & I and DD watched movies and sent the boys outside to run off their never ending energy.  We checked on them periodically to make sure noone had escaped from the fenced in yard.  Toward the end of the 2nd movie, DS#1 ran in the house to tell on DS#3.

DS#1, “Mom!  DS#3 took his shorts off outside and now he’s taken off his underwear too!”

Me, “What?!?!  Tell him to get in here NOW!”

DS#1 & I both go to the back door.  DS#3 comes in . .. . .  . . . half bare.

Me, “DS#3, we DO NOT run around outside without clothes and most certainly NEVER without underwear!  Why did you take them off?”

You would think by now I would’ve learned not to ask why.

DS#3, “They were wet.  They didn’t feel good.”

Me, “Did you wet your pants outside?”

DS#3, “No.  The water got me wet.”

Me, “Did you turn on the water?  You know we DO NOT turn on that water!”

DS#3, “I didn’t! DS#1 did!”

Me, “DS#1, You know better.  I. . . ”

DS#1, ” . . But DS#3 said you said I could turn it on so we could play with it.”

Me, “Since when do you listen to your brothers?”

DS#3, “I did not!”

DS#1, “Did too!”

I shudder to think how long DS#3 was in our back yard running around with his butt cheeks hanging from beneath his shirt – yes there were other parts hanging too.

Can parents get ticketed for their children’s indecent exposure?

Anyway, however strange the aforementioned conversation, it’s pretty normal at our house. 

I’m going to assume it is not normal at yours.

If it is, let me know and we can get a support group started. 

So, I remember being a teenager and wishing I could move away from my mom, but I don’t know if I could’ve really done it. 

There are lots of things I’d like to do to derail her plans, but it is dangerous to step in the way of a train coming down the tracks full speed ahead.  She has made a very big decision and I believe in time she will find there are very big consequences.

No, I’m not threatening her.  I just know that life is not going to continue they way she thinks it is.  Her friends here will go on with their lives and will not wait for DD to be home every other weekend.  They’re teenagers and they think of themselves. 

While she thinks her brothers ruined her life, because she liked being an only child, she will come to a point when she misses them more than she can imagine. 

I already see her brothers upset with the knowledge of her departure from the family.  I’m afraid DS#1 is taking it all very personally and I pray he not become bitter about it.  He’s going to have to work through his emotions like the rest of us do.  He’s already shed more tears over it than I thought he would.  DS#2 said he thought sissy was leaving because she just didn’t want to be around us anymore. 

That made me shed more tears because there is a lot of truth to his statement at this point.

I know I could go on and on, but I’ll stop.

The bottom line is I can only control how I react to situations that cross my path in life.  I pray that DD sees mercy in my handling of the situation.  I pray daily for strength.  I pray that God use this as a tool to bring our family closer together than we ever thought possible. 

I pray.

I pray.

I pray some more.

God is good all the time and all the time God is good. 

People are another story.

I’ll have another story for you at a later date.

I don’t want to commit to anything specific because I would hate to miss the mark.

I will promise that it will be good though!  Really!

Blessings & Hugs, Elizabeth

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Responses

  1. I’m so glad your back!!! Well I guess boys will be boys! Apparently no policemen came by at that moment when DS #3 decided to go au naturale from the waist down, so you should be safe from a ticket. 🙂

    I am praying to!

  2. Thanks for sharing this, E. I missed your blogs while you were going through all of this (and still are). I know that sometimes writing it, putting it all out there, can be one of the hardest things, but also the most helpful. Praying for you guys, and love you.

  3. Hey Elizabeth – I am just getting caught up (after your prompting e-mail) on the blog – it has been way crazy at work for some reason – to “sneak a peak” at my usual websites! I am still praying for you & the family – we love you!


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