Posted by: simplyelizabeth | September 9, 2009

This Could Be The Next Epidemic Outbreak – And You Heard It Hear First

I believe we discovered a new strain of disease in our home the other night.  I’m sure we’re not the first to have it, but we are the first to name it.  To be more specific, DS#2 gets the credit for the name. 

I bet you didn’t know we took science so seriously in our house, but we do my friends.  We really do.

It came on all of the sudden.  DS#1 had crawled behind me on our couch.  I told him, ever so sweetly, to kindly remove himself from my backside for it was making me a tad uncomfortable.  When he did . . . . . well that’s when it started.  He was moving from one place to another and – there’s no delicate way to put this – he passed gas. 

Yes.  I know you find it hard to fathom that crudeness of this nature exists in a home with three boys.  It’s one of our ugly little secrets.  Please don’t chastise us now that you know.

It was then that the epidemic hit our house.  DS#1 couldn’t stop laughing and it caused more passing of gas.  His laughing induced more of the same from DS#2 & DS#3.   

It was horrible to watch.  My poor boys were unable to control their own bodily functions. 

The tragedy that was playing out in my living room was too much for me to bear.

I, myself,  was almost overcome with the fumes.   

(Sob, sob, sob)

Bare with me as I compose myself.  The memory is still so real.  I . . . I  . . . have no words to describe it. 

So in the middle of all this confusion, chaos and suffering, DS#2 had a lucid moment.  He proclaimed, “Mom!  It’s Toot Disease!”

Toot Disease.  Beware my friends.  This is not something to take lightly.

I have found that it is more likely to occur in homes with two or more boys. 

At this very moment I am trying to contact the CDC and warn them. 

When you see it on the evening news, you can shake your head and say, “We knew this was coming because Elizabeth told us.”

Yep.  That’s just the kind of friend I am.

Blessings & Hugs, Elizabeth

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Responses

  1. Ugggg, what is it with boys. I can see both sides to this little story…the bust a gut funnny and the gag nasty! Boys…I do have two is the house now, thanks for the warnings!!!

  2. I love it…..it’s not just boys. We’ve been trying to teach the little girl how little ladies behave, and sometimes “the toot disease” takes over.


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