Last night we turned our clocks back an hour. Every year, I treasure the thought of an extra hour to be productive, to enjoy an extra hour of Hallmark channel, to make jewelry, to reflect, to do whatever moves me. And really, who am I kidding, productive is a word that sounds good, not one that will come to fruition. LOL Sixty extra minutes and endless possibilities! This morning I’m reflecting.
I know we’re not at the end of the year yet, but I can’t help reflecting on what has transpired for me this year and what next year holds.
Yesterday I had the pleasure and privilege of cheering on my senior son as he ran at the IHSA Cross Country state finals. It’s the first time Marshall’s Cross Country team has qualified. It was so exciting! I transform into some crazed fan that yells and cheers as my son and the rest of the team run by me. I even yell for kids from other teams I’m familiar with via Adam. They wonder who the crazy woman is, but after 4 years, I think they know I’m Adam’s mom. Poor Adam. 😉I can usually catch them three and sometimes four times. I have group of moms that I travel with from one point to another along each course and they yell too. Who knew it was so exciting to yell, I mean cheer on runners. I don’t want to run, but I’ll be more than happy to encourage you and even tell you to dig in and pass that person in front of you. I’m uplifting that way. LOL Anyway, I digress. So yesterday I watched my senior son run in what is most likely his last cross country race ever. It was bittersweet. He has endured back injuries that took him out of running for a Cross Country season and two track seasons. He endured. He didn’t always like it, but he has bounced back this year and I couldn’t be more proud.
It embodies what this year has been for me. The ebb and flow of life. The ending of one season and beginning of another. I don’t know if he’ll choose to pursue running in college, but even if he does, high school cross country is done. What a way to end it though! A personal best time at the State meet. The end to this season brings us closer to the end of a senior year and closer to the beginning of college. It will be so different in our house without him here, but the new chapter for him is so exciting and the possibilities are endless. Endings bring about beginnings. Beginnings bring hope.
Katie will be graduating from college in May as well. She plans to move and pursue grad school in either Colorado or Arizona. I have cherished the time we’ve had together over the last few years and I can’t imagine not having her within driving distance. But what an exciting time for her to develop her art. It’s an adventure that I wish I could take! The ending of her bachelor’s degree will be the beginning of her Masters. Sad for me that she’ll move, but endless possibilities are filled with hope.
When wonderful things happen with my kiddos, my thoughts generally turn to my Dad. One week from today he will have been gone from my life physically for 22 years. Saying that almost takes my breathe away. He would have loved each one of his grandchildren to the point of driving them batty. They would have had no bigger fan of their lives hands down. No, he wasn’t a saint. In fact, he could be a real turkey about some things. Bu His love of life was passionate. His love of encouraging others and building them up was contagious. And he had a love of learning that he shared too. He would’ve reveled in Katie’s pottery, yelled as loud as me at Adam’s meets and Aaron’s basketball games and taken Seth to go out and about biking and fishing. (Poor kid likes to fish, but he has to rely on another family for that fix. Thank goodness for second families!) He met each person where they were at in life. I try to reflect more on what he left behind than what we have missed. He left a lot of love and touched a lot of lives positively just by being who he was. Saying I was blessed to have him as my Daddy is an understatement. But again, endings bring beginnings. And Beginnings bring hope. I know my Dad knew Jesus, and I have the hope, the hope of Jesus knowing I will see him again. That is a comfort that transcends the confines of this Earth.
One week from today I will be with a woman that I dare to say I owe my life. It has been a beginning for me this year, but she felt it was an ending for her 47 years ago. All my life I grew up hearing from my mom and dad about my adoption. I always knew. There was a comfort in it for me because they told me I was special because I was chosen (quiet in the peanut gallery) and that my birth Mom must have felt she couldn’t take care for me the way she thought would be best, so she surrendered me to adoption. They always, always told me that act takes more love. She loved me in an unselfish way. I always believed it with all my heart. I also always felt I belonged where I was. I never had some longing or missing piece to my life. Ron and Jackie Kitchen are my parents. I am their daughter. I’ve felt grateful to my birth mother from the beginning. She blessed me beyond measure and certainly beyond what any of us deserve. As I have gotten older, I’ve been curious, as anyone would be, about my birth family. It also occurred to me in a practical way, that I really don’t have medical history. I thought it was important for me to know for myself and my kiddos. After discussing it with Mama for a period of time to ease any apprehension she had, I sent off for my unofficial birth certificate that would have my birth mother’s name to begin the search. I got it in January. Not only did I receive her name but I also received information about where she now lives, her phone number and other bits of info like I have two younger brothers. Pretty cool and exciting. There is so much more I’m sure I’ll share, but for now I’ve been blessed again. I’ll be visiting her, one of my brothers, and meeting a new Aunt and another Grandma. I’ve been looking at it not as another family, but more family. One of the most amazing things about it all is that I found out at the beginning of our conversations that my mom and dad were right. She chose adoption for me because she wanted me to have more than she felt she could provide. She told me how important it was to her that I have a mother and a father. Just wow. God is good, no, amazing, and again, it makes me feel blessed and lavished in His love. So her ending with me was my beginning. And because God is so good to restore broken things, we both have a new beginning with a relationship. It’s been a wonderful journey that continues to be a gift.
While we are in the season of trees losing their leaves, days getting shorter and coming to the end of another year, there is an exciting beginning right around the corner. The hope and possibilities are endless.
Count your blessings today, know where they come from and celebrate beginnings from endings.
Hugs and blessings,
Elizabeth